Awareness during a shadow moment is more powerful than ‘perfect behavior.’
I felt this in my whole being today. While moving through a moment of tiredness and frustration with my children, I remained fully aware internally — watching the shadow arise, recognizing the old pattern, and holding compassion for my state.
And just now, I noticed the email about this article was sent at 11:11 — a beautiful confirmation as I was writing about shedding old skins after encountering a snake earlier today. I’m deeply resonating with this invitation into wholeness without shame — this is the embodiment phase.
The Snake doesn’t rise in a straight line — it coils, pauses, and sometimes goes into the dark before it sheds…
Ohhh I love the synchronicities this comment is dripping with. <3
And it reminds me of a saying that I agree with: What you believe about what just happened is far more important than what actually happened.
I'll love the 11:11. I'm a number 11 in numerology and my husband has an alarm on his phone that goes off an 11:11 every day to tell me he loves me. <3
Shelby, your offering brings a much-needed compassion and clarity to the architecture of shame as it’s felt "within." Your distinction between essence and behavior, and the effort to hold space for repair without collapse, is both skillful and deeply humane. I’m grateful for how you’re mapping these inner dynamics with such presence.
If I may add—your phrase “shame is not required” holds as a kind of beacon for where we’re headed. But from where I stand, within the paradigm we’ve inherited—one that overidentifies with ego and has displaced the heart as our compass—shame isn’t just common, it’s "inevitable." That’s not a flaw in the individual; it’s a symptom of a culture that conditions us to conflate being with doing, essence with error.
So while shame may not be "required" in the field of wholeness, it is "entrained" in the field of distortion. The ego, when mistaken as our true center, becomes a magnet for both guilt and shame. And in the current paradigm—particularly one that moved (great depression to the 1980s) from guilt-based morality (offset by religion) to shame-based identity (1980s to the present) offset by ego inflation or narcissism—this emotion has become a carrier for collective disconnection.
In that sense, your work and this lens of Intentional Evolution are not in opposition, but part of a larger circle. You’re helping us navigate what’s happening inside the system. I’m suggesting the system itself needs reorientation—not to dismiss shame, but to see it as an echo of misalignment, not a moral failure.
Both truths are needed. Yours speaks to the tenderness of being human within this structure. Mine points to the structure itself. Together, they give us the humility to feel—and the coherence to evolve.
That's such a stellar point. "Shame is not required, but it most certainly is inevitable." That's so true and so resonant for me. I'm a huge proponent of normalizing the messiness of being human and removing shame as much as possible from our culture. I believe that starts with learning to heal the shame within ourselves.
There are so many reasons why shame is so difficult to address. But one reason is that when we turn towards our healing path, we often view the path through the lens of shame. "The reaction to the pattern is the pattern."
Couple that with when shame is part of our identity it feels factual and real rather than as a belief or wound, and even after awareness is cognitively made, our nervous system and body still responds through the shame. It's such a complex dynamic.
I hold so much tenderness for shadow work and healing shame. It's such a personal, individual path. I love and appreciate your insight. I could not agree more that shame is not a moral failing. There is nothin moral about shame. We project morality onto it.
I don't see what you're sharing as opposition to my work AND even if it was, that would be GREAT. Because I truly do not believe that what is unfolding with The Field is one thing or formulaic. It's why I'm such a huge advocate for differentiated unity.
Thank you for being such a vocal part of this community. I really appreciate you.
I feel drawn to listen to this. After receiving your email today regarding this topic, I stopped for a moment to read quite far into the discussed material in the (1st) email. I still had a lot to go before reaching the end, so I decided to come back later and finish reading; Reading from a small cell phone screen was uncomfortable at that moment. Lol.
Ironically, before the night is over, I just received your (2nd) email with a link to the audio, of you discussing the topic of shame from your perspective. So, this option to listen to you discussing it, actually works out for me better than actually reading it at the moment. I may probably go back and read it, though, I seem to absorb information better through listening.
Hahha LOWER your expectations. I'm not sure me trying to verbalize it helped. LOL But it's such an important topic. I figure if we just start the conversation, maybe we'll all find language together. <3
Excellent and adequate vocal expression of your insights on the topic of interpersonal shame, via the podcast. My expectations were met 😊, seriously.
You are spot on in regards to when you mentioned, that our mind might respond in a specific way, on a particular point of shame; I witnessed my mind doing it. Also, I am glad that the kindness in my previous words were well received by you.
I am typing this after completing the read on your "shame" article, and I finished listening to the audio an hour ago. Shockingly, I decided to print out pages of the article; reading is very challenging for me because it usually feels like a chore (and lack of interest), but I felt inspired to print and dive deeper; this made the reading less straining (and useful physical records). I made it my mission to finish where I left off at lol🙃.
Even though the expressed knowledge doesn't cover the whole spectrum of shame (like you mentioned), I wonder if this information could aid me with my experience of interpersonal "false shame".
I feel like this is the most satisfying thing that you could share. Thank you. To know that the concept I'm trying to convey on a topic that I view is so critically important, through a lens that is hard to articulate, landed in a meaningful way - means so much to me.
Thinking of shame through the lens of Field-architecture is something I've found truly helpful. But I can't say I have a full understanding of it yet, and I can't say I've developed proper language for it yet. My hope is that by opening the conversation, maybe those of us who resonate can explore and discover together and co-create a shared understanding and language.
I'd love to hear what you discover as you explore this. Even if it's different than what I've shared. This is a topic that I think is universally important, dare I say - Sacred?
Looking forward to any insights you may share and again, thank you so much for the kind words and reflections.
Agreed, it can be incredibly challenging to articulate through specific lenses. I am warmed & thrilled to know, that my grasping of your expression, impacted you in this way. I like your expressed notion of, a collective understanding and sharing of the language; "sacred language" is really magnetic (fitting word placement), I feel the pull.
I like and see the importance in, you highlighting the "opening of conversation" ; furthermore, creating a human language bridge. And if new insights form for me around this topic, I'll keep in mind your open invitation to share. ✨
Awareness during a shadow moment is more powerful than ‘perfect behavior.’
I felt this in my whole being today. While moving through a moment of tiredness and frustration with my children, I remained fully aware internally — watching the shadow arise, recognizing the old pattern, and holding compassion for my state.
And just now, I noticed the email about this article was sent at 11:11 — a beautiful confirmation as I was writing about shedding old skins after encountering a snake earlier today. I’m deeply resonating with this invitation into wholeness without shame — this is the embodiment phase.
The Snake doesn’t rise in a straight line — it coils, pauses, and sometimes goes into the dark before it sheds…
Ohhh I love the synchronicities this comment is dripping with. <3
And it reminds me of a saying that I agree with: What you believe about what just happened is far more important than what actually happened.
I'll love the 11:11. I'm a number 11 in numerology and my husband has an alarm on his phone that goes off an 11:11 every day to tell me he loves me. <3
Shelby, your offering brings a much-needed compassion and clarity to the architecture of shame as it’s felt "within." Your distinction between essence and behavior, and the effort to hold space for repair without collapse, is both skillful and deeply humane. I’m grateful for how you’re mapping these inner dynamics with such presence.
If I may add—your phrase “shame is not required” holds as a kind of beacon for where we’re headed. But from where I stand, within the paradigm we’ve inherited—one that overidentifies with ego and has displaced the heart as our compass—shame isn’t just common, it’s "inevitable." That’s not a flaw in the individual; it’s a symptom of a culture that conditions us to conflate being with doing, essence with error.
So while shame may not be "required" in the field of wholeness, it is "entrained" in the field of distortion. The ego, when mistaken as our true center, becomes a magnet for both guilt and shame. And in the current paradigm—particularly one that moved (great depression to the 1980s) from guilt-based morality (offset by religion) to shame-based identity (1980s to the present) offset by ego inflation or narcissism—this emotion has become a carrier for collective disconnection.
In that sense, your work and this lens of Intentional Evolution are not in opposition, but part of a larger circle. You’re helping us navigate what’s happening inside the system. I’m suggesting the system itself needs reorientation—not to dismiss shame, but to see it as an echo of misalignment, not a moral failure.
Both truths are needed. Yours speaks to the tenderness of being human within this structure. Mine points to the structure itself. Together, they give us the humility to feel—and the coherence to evolve.
With appreciation for your signal.
That's such a stellar point. "Shame is not required, but it most certainly is inevitable." That's so true and so resonant for me. I'm a huge proponent of normalizing the messiness of being human and removing shame as much as possible from our culture. I believe that starts with learning to heal the shame within ourselves.
There are so many reasons why shame is so difficult to address. But one reason is that when we turn towards our healing path, we often view the path through the lens of shame. "The reaction to the pattern is the pattern."
Couple that with when shame is part of our identity it feels factual and real rather than as a belief or wound, and even after awareness is cognitively made, our nervous system and body still responds through the shame. It's such a complex dynamic.
I hold so much tenderness for shadow work and healing shame. It's such a personal, individual path. I love and appreciate your insight. I could not agree more that shame is not a moral failing. There is nothin moral about shame. We project morality onto it.
I don't see what you're sharing as opposition to my work AND even if it was, that would be GREAT. Because I truly do not believe that what is unfolding with The Field is one thing or formulaic. It's why I'm such a huge advocate for differentiated unity.
Thank you for being such a vocal part of this community. I really appreciate you.
I feel drawn to listen to this. After receiving your email today regarding this topic, I stopped for a moment to read quite far into the discussed material in the (1st) email. I still had a lot to go before reaching the end, so I decided to come back later and finish reading; Reading from a small cell phone screen was uncomfortable at that moment. Lol.
Ironically, before the night is over, I just received your (2nd) email with a link to the audio, of you discussing the topic of shame from your perspective. So, this option to listen to you discussing it, actually works out for me better than actually reading it at the moment. I may probably go back and read it, though, I seem to absorb information better through listening.
Hahha LOWER your expectations. I'm not sure me trying to verbalize it helped. LOL But it's such an important topic. I figure if we just start the conversation, maybe we'll all find language together. <3
Thank you for the kind words!
Excellent and adequate vocal expression of your insights on the topic of interpersonal shame, via the podcast. My expectations were met 😊, seriously.
You are spot on in regards to when you mentioned, that our mind might respond in a specific way, on a particular point of shame; I witnessed my mind doing it. Also, I am glad that the kindness in my previous words were well received by you.
I am typing this after completing the read on your "shame" article, and I finished listening to the audio an hour ago. Shockingly, I decided to print out pages of the article; reading is very challenging for me because it usually feels like a chore (and lack of interest), but I felt inspired to print and dive deeper; this made the reading less straining (and useful physical records). I made it my mission to finish where I left off at lol🙃.
Even though the expressed knowledge doesn't cover the whole spectrum of shame (like you mentioned), I wonder if this information could aid me with my experience of interpersonal "false shame".
Jason,
I feel like this is the most satisfying thing that you could share. Thank you. To know that the concept I'm trying to convey on a topic that I view is so critically important, through a lens that is hard to articulate, landed in a meaningful way - means so much to me.
Thinking of shame through the lens of Field-architecture is something I've found truly helpful. But I can't say I have a full understanding of it yet, and I can't say I've developed proper language for it yet. My hope is that by opening the conversation, maybe those of us who resonate can explore and discover together and co-create a shared understanding and language.
I'd love to hear what you discover as you explore this. Even if it's different than what I've shared. This is a topic that I think is universally important, dare I say - Sacred?
Looking forward to any insights you may share and again, thank you so much for the kind words and reflections.
Agreed, it can be incredibly challenging to articulate through specific lenses. I am warmed & thrilled to know, that my grasping of your expression, impacted you in this way. I like your expressed notion of, a collective understanding and sharing of the language; "sacred language" is really magnetic (fitting word placement), I feel the pull.
I like and see the importance in, you highlighting the "opening of conversation" ; furthermore, creating a human language bridge. And if new insights form for me around this topic, I'll keep in mind your open invitation to share. ✨